Hello wonderful, amazing, sweet and lovely people. How are you all doing today? I hope you are all having an amazing day and are not letting anyone steal your joy. Welcome to Maryam's Joyful Life. Today is a beautiful day. Thank you all for joining me.
So, Divorce is the topic for today. Let's make it Divorce and being an African woman. According to the African culture, specifically Nigeria, when a woman gets married, she is expected to stay married forever. Women are raised to look forward to marriage and raising kids. There's a big difference between how the men are raised from how the women are raised. Men are raised to be independent, pursue careers and titles, while women are raised to prepare for marriage and child-bearing. It is a night and day difference.
The attention I have received from my public divorce is crazy. The society expects a woman to be broken and sad when her marriage ends. As women, we are expected to conform to society's norm of being broken and walking around with a long face after a marriage ends or a relationship ends. Whereas, the man is expected to be strong and macho. Going about his business as usual like nothing happened.
Well, I refuse to be broken. I refuse to conform to society's expectation of me. In fact, I will shine my brightest yet, in this season of my life. As everyone now knows, I am not your average African woman. I won't endure pain and discomfort, hoping for a miracle. Whilst God is obviously telling me to pursue my peace and joy. I have discovered that I am a Miracle.
I no longer have to convince myself to be happy because I am happy. I have learned to be ENOUGH within myself and truly, that is liberating. The realization that I don't need a man to feel whole is truly amazing. Ok, let's face it, I am Maryam. I am a Queen. I don't live by society's or other's expectations of me. I connect to my God and follow His guidance as I go. I have always been this way; A TRUE seeker but really needed to expand spiritually, in order to truly accept this side of me.
People's opinions are simply what they are "opinions." They don't define me. Society's expectations can not limit me. I refuse to be a robot controlled by society's buttons. Everyone of us came to this Earth to expand and create a life we love living. Whether that happens to involve others or not, we should keep moving. We can't allow people or things to keep us from creating a life that is full of joy and sweetness.
I am grateful to God for this awakening and the Grace to stay grounded in God. This truly is my biggest blessing. All of society's rules and expectations are limits, if we accept them without questioning,they become imposed on us. Every limiting belief you accept, becomes a part of your experience.
Many African women stay in difficult/abusive marriages because of the fear of what people might say, the fear of being alone and almost always because of their children. For me, for the sake of my positive energy and my kids, I am embracing this new life. I want my kids to feel the right energy around them and truly learn about their true identity in God.
Having peace is priceless. Having joy is priceless. These qualities are all part of who we are and nothing or anyone should be allowed to steal our joy.
Today, as I write this post, I chose peace, I choose joy and most of all, I choose me.
Society can have it's expectations and people can have their biases. In the grand scheme of things, it all doesn't matter until I allow it. I, MARYAM aka Maryam's Joyful Life, refuse to allow anyone or thing steal my joy.
With gratitude,
Maryam
